I recently noticed that two of the tires on my automobile needed air and I drove to the neighborhood gas station to put some air in the tires. When I arrived at the gas station property, I drove to a free-standing tall free-standing silver box with the words “Air and Water” written in bold black letters on the top of the box. I stopped in front of the Air and Water machine, got out of my automobile, and deposited $1.50 in quarters in the “Put Money Here” slot in order to activate the air pump.

As I knelt down and inserted the air nozzle into the air valve on my tire, I reflected on how I would have performed this same procedure forty years ago at a gas station. (Yeah, I’m showing my age.) Actually, I wouldn’t have been performing this procedure to put air my tires. Instead, I would have driven up to the gas pump and an attendant wearing a gas company uniform would have come out from his comfortable air-conditioned office and asked me if I wanted regular or premium gas in my car. Then he would have proceeded to pump my gas and check the air in my tires and the amount of oil in my engine without charging me an extra cent.

Today, “full service” at a gas station is unthinkable. I now have to pay $1.50 just for air or water! Really? Under the guise of self-service almost every gas station that I know about offers “no service” when it comes to your automobile. And what’s worse, we’ve come to believe this is the norm and entirely acceptable because it’s been labeled “self-service.” Don’t even get me started with it comes to “self-service check-out” areas in a grocery store!

If you run a business or if you’re running your life, consider how much you will stand out with others if you offer basic FREE services to your customers, friends or family members. Imagine doing something for someone without expecting anything in return. If you want to set yourself apart as a leader, why not do something no one else is doing¾give something to somebody without expecting anything in return. Perhaps you should consider adopting the three core values of the United States Air Force, which are, “Integrity First – Service Before Self – Excellence in All We Do” Now that’s what I call Full Service!

As I write this article from my home in Houston, Texas. I’m keeping one eye on my computer screen and my other eye on the television as I watch a swirling mass of weather in the Gulf of Mexico called Hurricane Harvey. Most of the weather forecasters are saying that they are very confident they know where the storm will make landfall. However, after it reaches land, they really don’t know what’s going to happen. So, thousands of other people and I are left with a very ambiguous and potentially dangerous situation.

It’s interesting to see the various ways people handle approaching hurricanes as well as personal storms in their lives which are fraught with uncertainty. Some people such as Douglas Hubbard, the author of How to Measure Anything: Finding the Value of Intangibles in Business, believe that knowledge is the foundation for the reduction of uncertainty. The more knowledge you can acquire, the more certainty you will have. While this may be true, there are times when there simply isn’t enough information to eliminate the anxiety that accompanies a storm. Also, too much knowledge may increase your anxiety. Keeping the television on the Weather Channel 24/7 may not be such a good idea.

Some people believe that if they don’t look at a situation, it may vanish. Their motto is, “Out of sight, out of mind.” This approach may not be such a good idea if you find yourself in the middle of a storm and are looking for a way out. Turning off the television or watching your favorite movie will not make the problem go away.

There are also a few people who attempt to ease the anxiety of a storm with humor. Yes, it’s true that laughing at a situation may diminish your concern. However, this is akin to drawing a smiley face on a bottle of laxative. You may chuckle as it’s going down, but the result is not laughable. Having a hurricane party surrounded by good friends, music, and laughter will not eliminate the problem of the storm knocking at your door.

In addition to gaining as much knowledge as you can, admitting that the situation is real and maintaining a jovial outlook, there a fourth alternative to handing a storm. Look out of your window and see for yourself what the storm is doing. After all, the weather forecasters can only predict a storm. You are the person who is experiencing the storm. Even if the situation turns out to be less than hopeful, it’s easier to face the “devil” you know than it is to face the “devil” you don’t know.

The ambiguity of the future is often diminished by the reality of the present. We can only respond to what we can see. Trying to respond to what we don’t know rarely has positive consequences. So, take an honest look at the storm that’s at your doorstep, and you’ll know what you should do.

Unless you have been on a secluded beach in the Polynesian Islands for the past year, you are probably aware of the problem we are currently experiencing in the United States, as well as in the workplace and even our families. Conversation is quickly becoming a lost art.

I’m not referring to the simple exchange of ideas between two people or an attempt to convince someone that your opinion is the fountain head of wisdom and knowledge. Instead, I am speaking about two people sitting down and seeking to understand what they each believe and why they believe it. At the basis of the lost art of conversation is our inability to listen.

Professional counselors practice this type of communication better than most people. When someone says, “My spouse doesn’t pay any attention to me and rarely speaks to me.” the counselor reframes the statement and replies, “So you are saying you feel rejected.” The counselor knows that the primary role they play in the dialog is their ability to listen and to understand what their client is saying.

Today, everyone seems to be speaking their mind, but very few people appear to be listening with a strong desire to understand what the other person is saying. If you believe otherwise, watch a conversation between two individuals who have opposing views on any news channel. Both sides often attempt to dominate each other with a barrage of words. They frequently talk over each other, and the conversation grows louder as it moves forward. There is a lot of talking, but not much listening and understanding.

What would happen if the news channel featured two people with opposing views who attempted to understand each other? What if they listened intently to the other person and then reframed the statement by saying, “So what you are saying is ________?” This approach to dialog would be fantastic! However, I doubt that very few people would want to watch this type of conversation. This approach to careful listening and understanding doesn’t sell very well. Viewers prefer to watch and listen to a disagreement that escalates into verbal dominance or physical abuse. They would rather watch two people on a street corner screaming what they believe at each other than watch two people standing on the same street corner having a respectful disagreement.

So how do we create an environment in which others can be heard and understood? Perhaps we should personally adopt the same approach to life as the writer Dallas Willard does when he states, “I’m practicing the discipline of not having to have the last word.”