The bad news is, we do things that are harmful to ourselves. The REALLY bad news is, we keep doing these harmful things even though we know there will be negative consequences. Why is this?

Why do we have such a hard time making positive changes in our lives when we know that they very things that we are doing are not helping us? If this sounds like addictive behavior, that’s exactly what it is — addictive behavior. As my friend, who is actively involved in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), says, “We all have addictions.” i.e. a compulsive need for something.

I recently had an interesting conversation with another good friend, whose academic training and expertise is counseling and therapy. I asked him to list the primary motivators that cause people to make changes in their life.

• Pressure – This is the precursor for change. When the pressure becomes too great, we instinctively react to the pressure by seeking to move away from the source of the pressure.
• Pain (The pain of staying or continuing to do something is greater than the pain of leaving or quitting that which is being done.)
• Perspective – By changing our viewpoint, we can change our life. Instead of focusing on the bitter taste of the lemon, we see the potential of lemonade.

I also asked my therapist friend to list the steps to overcoming addictive behavior. Based on the work of Carlo C DiClemente in his fascinating book, Addiction and Change, my friend listed the five steps to overcoming addictive behavior.

1. Precontemplative – I don’t have a problem. There is nothing wrong.
2. Contemplative – I might have a problem. There might be something wrong.
3. Preparation – If I do have a problem, what could I do to change?
4. Action – I admit that I do have a problem. What will I do? Note: After an action is taken, there is always a possibility of relapse. Although relapse is not considered to be a step in addictive behavior, it does restart the process and calls forth the question, “What was not in place that needs to be in place next time?”
5. Maintenance – The change has occurred and the problem is under control.

For additional information about how to change things, check out Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath.

You’re faced with a problem and you don’t know what to do. You analyze the problem. In fact, you overanalyze the problem to the degree that no action is ever taken. Sound familiar? If this frequently occurs when you are attempting to make a decision, you’ve been the victim of paralysis by analysis.

The best way to overcome procrastination is to become aware of a simple principle in physics known as the “Law of Inertia,” which states that it takes more energy to put an object in motion than it does to keep it in motion. Practically speaking, this means that it’s more difficult to begin doing something than it is to keep doing something once you’ve begun.

My father had a more concise way of describing this law during my teenage years when I vacillated over a decision. He would bark, “You can’t steer a parked car! Just don’t stand there! Do something!”

Although I didn’t enjoy hearing my father bellow these pronouncements when I was a child, I eventually came to realize that my father may have been correct. Imagine that!

When you are facing a problem that appears to be insurmountable, any movement forward is better than no movement at all. The reason a journey of a thousand miles must begin with one step, is because the energy that it takes to make the first step will enable you to take the second and third step in your journey toward success.

So, take a problem¾any problem. Quit overanalyzing the situation and take a step, no matter how small. As your momentum carries you forward, you will discover that each successive step takes less energy than your initial step, while providing the energy you need to sustain your forward momentum and arrive successfully at your destination.

So, like my father used to say, “Don’t just stand there! Do something!”

What is the one positive thing you would like for others to say about you when you are not in the room? This is an interesting question to ask yourself, as well as your team members, your friends or your family members. You can be sure the answer will be based on a significant and positive character trait.

Personally, I want others to say, “He is a person who does exactly what he says he will do. If he makes a promise, he will keep it.” Recently, I have noticed that quite a few people in their business and personal lives make promises they never keep. The examples are so numerous, I’ll only list a few.

• Return a phone call
• Arrive at a meeting on time
• Begin the diet
• Take out the trash
• Refund the purchase
• Keep your name off the email list
• Pay the bill
• Complete the assignment

You would think that knowing how to keep a promise would be something we learn as we move from childhood into adulthood. However, this doesn’t seem to be the case. Out of curiosity, I conducted a Google™ search on the subject of “keeping promises” and I was amazed to find a plethora of sites that actually tell you HOW to keep a promise. Someone actually has to go to Google™ to learn how to keep a promise? Geez!

To save you some time in conducting your own lengthy internet search regarding how to keep your promises, here is some simple advice about keeping a promise. Don’t ever make a promise you know you can’t keep. Anyone can make a promise. It’s keeping a promise that defines your integrity. How well you keep your promises is a measure of your worth. So, when it comes to keeping your promises, “How much are you worth?”