You receive an email from someone you know. At the end of the email the person writes, “Let’s get together sometime.” You happen to see someone you know in the hallway or at a social engagement. After a brief chat, the person says, “We ought to get together for lunch.”

Are these invitations phony or real? My guess is that, although your acquaintance may mean well and have good intentions, it’s not a REAL invitation to get together. In our American society, this is simply a polite way of ending the encounter. Your friend or colleague may be saying, “You’re a nice person, but I don’t REALLY want to have an extended conversation with you. This short interaction has been all I really need.”

A simple way to know if someone is sincere when they invite you to “get together,” is to see if they include any details such as: 1) a topic for the future conversation, 2) a time, 3) a date, 4) a location? If they do, it’s probably a real invitation. If they don’t include any details, they’re probably politely dismissing you.

If you really want to see if they are being phony, culturally polite or sincere, simply reply, “That’s a great idea! Here’s when I’m available. Let’s set a time and date right now.” If they really have no intention of connecting with you, they will most likely reply, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”

The next time you conclude an encounter with someone, instead of politely dismissing the person with a less-than-credible invitation to reconnect, consider using one of the following statements to convey your sincerity. 1) “Thanks for your note. All the best to you.” 2) “It was nice to see you. I hope you have a wonderful [day, evening, etc.] 3) “I appreciate the opportunity to talk with you. Thanks for your time.”

A friend of mine recently said, “Next week I really need to clean up my office, but I know I won’t do it.”

I replied, “Why don’t you put the task on your calendar?’’

My friend answered, “That never works. I rarely keep appointments with myself. Especially, when it’s something I really don’t want to do.”

“Does the same thing happen when you make appointments with other people?” I asked.

“Not as much.” my friend responded. “I seem to do better at keeping my appointments with other people.

This seems to be a very common problem with many people. It’s often easier to keep an appointment with another person than it is to keep an appointment with yourself. However, if you want to excel as a leader, the appointment you must never break is “the appointment with yourself.”

A self-appointment is a matter of self-integrity, which is the foundation of your relationship with others. Each time you dishonor a commitment to yourself, you diminish your internal integrity, which will eventually take its toll on your commitment to others.

If you want to be more consistent in keeping appointments with yourself and strengthening your sense of self-empowerment, thus translating your thoughts to actions, review the following tips.

1. Allocate the proper amount of time and resources to accomplish your task.

2. If the task takes more than one step, make a sequential list of the steps and tackle the task one step at a time.

3. If the task is going to take longer than one hour, divide it into two or more sixty-minute time slots and take at least a one-hour break between these time slots.

4. Tell at least two people about your task and the time and date you plan on accomplishing it.

5. Ask a trusted friend to contact you by any means necessary on the appointed day and time to see if you have started the task.

Practice these five easy steps for thirty days and you’ll be surprised how often you will begin keeping your promises to yourself, which will motivate you to keep your promises to others.

I want to introduce you to three simple words that will enable you to gain an incredible amount of knowledge about any subject. Yes, they are guaranteed to make you smarter. The more often you say them, the more you will learn. Although they are easy to say, most leaders have a very hard time saying them. These three words form a sentence that you should use every day. They are, “I don’t know.”

Addressing the uneasiness most people feel daily when they are confronted with facts and data, Richard Wurman wrote a groundbreaking book in 1989 entitled Information Anxiety. His book teaches readers how to learn what they want to learn from a variety of sources. Wurman’s findings are based on his foundational principle of learning, which states, “We should use our ignorance as an inspiration to learn instead of and embarrassment to conceal.”

What a revolutionary concept! When someone asks you if you know something about a particular subject and you don’t have any knowledge, you simply say, “I don’t know.” Follow up your response with, “What can you tell me?” You will be amazed at how much information others will give you. It’s like creating a knowledge vacuum that others want to fill.

However, if you appear that you know everything there is to know when asked about a certain subject, two things will most likely occur. First, others will realize that you really don’t know as much as you think you know and your credibility will be diminished. Second, others will simply stop giving you information. When a bucket is full of water, no one wants to add more water to the container. Some people call this “being full of yourself.” Once others stop giving you information, your acquisition of knowledge will quickly cease.

By the way, who is Richard Wurman? Does he really understand how to acquire knowledge and information? Perhaps you’ve never heard of Mr. Wurman. However, you may have heard about his brainchild, TED Talks, a web-based collection of over 2,400 inspirational and informational 20-minute video presentations delivered by noted experts in a variety of fields. Take a minute and visit this unique and free repository of knowledge and simply say, “I don’t know.” You be amazed at what you can learn when you admit to others what you don’t know!